Oh, what a dramatic sounding title.
We have been in a bit of a tizzy around the heigh-ho house lately. Some of you might recall my son's goal for the summer. Well, in addition to his desire to grow massive amounts of facial hair, he apparently has decided that he wants to grow the hair on his head down to his toes.
I'm not sure why.
I don't know if the hair deal is because he attends a private school that has reasonably strict rules on hair length or if it's because he hates haircuts. (Remember this?) I don't know if his desire to grow extreme facial hair is because he thinks it makes him more manly (ever since his mama passed 40, she's been known to grow the odd facial hair, and it certainly does not make her feel manly. It makes her feel irritated.) or if he just hates to shave.
All I know is that at this moment, I have a very scruffy, lanky 16 year old wandering around my house. One that in no way resembles the chubby cheeked, curly headed adorable toddler that used to wander around my house. But, to be perfectly honest, the whole "hair" thing doesn't really bother me. It's a simple request. He's not wanting a tattoo or a body piercing or a hot date with some girl I don't approve of or even a pony. It's just hair and it's a temporary thing. As long as he keeps the hair on his head clean and somewhat combed, I'm fine.
The dilemma is...his father. His father hates it. And I mean hates it. Of course, so does his grandmother, grandfather and every other relative. There has been comment after comment about "shaving that boy's head and face." I've tried to explain that it's just hair. It's not like he's out beating puppies.
Now here's the question. Am I being disrespectful to my husband by not agreeing with his position and insisting that The Boy get his haircut and shave? Or is it better as a parent to pick my battles and a "hair" battle is not as important as some other larger issues that might be looming on the horizon? I think I've been polite as I've discussed this with my husband and I've tried to explain my point of view. But Josh is the head of this household. My job as his wife is to stand by him.
So, what would you do?
We have been in a bit of a tizzy around the heigh-ho house lately. Some of you might recall my son's goal for the summer. Well, in addition to his desire to grow massive amounts of facial hair, he apparently has decided that he wants to grow the hair on his head down to his toes.
I'm not sure why.
I don't know if the hair deal is because he attends a private school that has reasonably strict rules on hair length or if it's because he hates haircuts. (Remember this?) I don't know if his desire to grow extreme facial hair is because he thinks it makes him more manly (ever since his mama passed 40, she's been known to grow the odd facial hair, and it certainly does not make her feel manly. It makes her feel irritated.) or if he just hates to shave.
All I know is that at this moment, I have a very scruffy, lanky 16 year old wandering around my house. One that in no way resembles the chubby cheeked, curly headed adorable toddler that used to wander around my house. But, to be perfectly honest, the whole "hair" thing doesn't really bother me. It's a simple request. He's not wanting a tattoo or a body piercing or a hot date with some girl I don't approve of or even a pony. It's just hair and it's a temporary thing. As long as he keeps the hair on his head clean and somewhat combed, I'm fine.
The dilemma is...his father. His father hates it. And I mean hates it. Of course, so does his grandmother, grandfather and every other relative. There has been comment after comment about "shaving that boy's head and face." I've tried to explain that it's just hair. It's not like he's out beating puppies.
Now here's the question. Am I being disrespectful to my husband by not agreeing with his position and insisting that The Boy get his haircut and shave? Or is it better as a parent to pick my battles and a "hair" battle is not as important as some other larger issues that might be looming on the horizon? I think I've been polite as I've discussed this with my husband and I've tried to explain my point of view. But Josh is the head of this household. My job as his wife is to stand by him.
So, what would you do?
10 comments:
In this case since it does not involve piercing or tattooing...I would pick the battle. I would tell my child grow the hair, but you will take a trip to the barber for a cut and shave a week before school resumes.
Maybe your son and husband can compromise on the length of the hair...such as touching his shoulders.
Buy him a beanie to wear around mammaw.
Good morning, Karen. I have been out of pocket and the internet was slooow. I agree with Annette (feels like me, myself, and I when I write that, but found out Easter Lilly Annette lives nearby in Texas, and is real and very dear, so my sanity is eased.)Summertime is for a little freedom, then you can firm it up again before school starts. But if there is too much dissention, pick Josh. He'll notice and thank you! Love, Annette (#2)
Karen,
I agree with you it is just hair I raised a boy, and he went though a time that he wanted his hair long, we just told him to keep it above his sholders, it was easier than dealing with than when he was avor 18 and he started getting his Tatoo's.. and even that doesn't bother me like say Drugs and things like that...
So yes pick your battles...
both with Josh and the boy...
I'm kpraying for you in this...
Connie
GBU
Stand by the hubby. The real battle is if your son will divide you or not. That is the cutest photo!!!
Hmmm...I guess this depends on how much of an issue it really is for your husband. I mean, has he said, "The Boy must get his hair cut today!"? My thought would be that he could put his foot down and make him get it cut if he really wanted to. Until it gets to that point, I'd stay out of it. This is between the two of them.
We don't necessarily have to agree with our husbands on everything, but we do have to be respectful about it. But at some point he's going to have to accept that your son is nearing adulthood and will have to make his own choices and reap the consequences. Growing your hair (face and head) out to the point where it's repulsive will definitely bring its own consequences.
So, maybe it's just an issue your husband wants to complain about. My hubby does lots of that. But when it gets to the point of him actually saying, "Get his hair cut now" then I'd have to say do it and explain to your son that both of you are under your husband's authority.
This must be a 16yo boy thing. My oldest went through this around that age (and he went to public school, so he had no short hair rules.) I would say pick your battles. It's only hair.
Now John is 18 and likes his hair short, much to my relief.
Mindy
I agree with you. It could be a lot worse! He will learn on his own how silly it looks and I'm sure this is just a phase. Sure of it! My son's hair grew out and we were looking at old pictures and he agreed he liked it a little longer. Not to worry, Karen. This too shall pass. I worry about parents who make too big a deal about the small stuff. We don't want him to rebel and possibly take it one step further by doing something else you wouldn't want. How about telling him your blog Siestas want pictures every day so we can see the progress? Your husband. That's a tough call. I just think it's most important that he know you are on the same team!
Good luck and I'll be waiting for pictures! :) You'll laugh about this one day!
Love,
Angie xoxo
I think that if you cannot get your husband to see this as you do, it is best to either leave it between the two of them and stay out of it or (if you must take a side) side with your hubby. I totally agree that it is not a big deal. He is just a 16 yr old wanting to fit in. But it is NOT worth division with your husband. Even a teeny one. Loved that sweet picture!
schools out and my son wanted a mohawk, he's 8. i said get good grades and on the last day of school you can get one. good grades and he got a mohawk. he will remember that i allowed him to have a mohawk during the summer when he was less of a distraction. it's cute, but it will be gone in a few weeks. it's not as exciting anymore.
let him grow his hair. he could be choosing worse things.
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