Almost Freedom

Freedom for what? Well, it's 12:05 and I still have energy! This is so exciting. I haven't felt this good since November 5th. That's a long time. I also went to the doctor today and he said I was about 80% healed but that I could start getting on with my life. Just be careful, know my limitations and blah blah blah. (I think I might have tuned him out at this point.) Anyway, I am so excited to be feeling...normal. (Of course, I'm not sayin' I won't be taking a nap later. Just so you know.)

Today's the big Bowl game. No pressure. It's just that if we don't win this game, well, let's just say that we will be pathetic. Because their team is missing like 36 players or something due to scandal and injuries. I would say that football isn't really our game, basketball is. But unfortunately, we have done terribly in basketball this year. So terribly that I don't even want to watch. Sigh. So we have our hopes and our pride set on this Bowl game. (There's a basketball game on too and I find myself thinking, "surely we can beat Dolphin Middle School or somebody like that." Actually it's Florida International and they will probably beat us by 50 points. Sigh.)

Hmmm...the house smells like tacos so lunch must be done. I guess I'd better get busy with some stuff around here. (Laundry, dishes, cringing when the other team makes a basket, ironing, wondering if God is a football fan, feeding the livestock, and so forth.) Happy New Year!

Goodbye to 2007

I was doing the year in review thing the other day and I have decided that 2007 was slightly traumatic. Maybe a little more than slightly. It started off fairly normal. My husband and I celebrated our twentieth anniversary in February. (Yes, it was a valentine's day wedding.) We took a trip to Disney World. Just the two of us. We had a lot of fun. We did three parks in one day (and decided that we were too old to do that) and then spent twelve hours at Magic Kingdom on the second day. (Which we decided we were too old to do that much running around too. ) But it was a glorious trip with my sweetie. Then in April, IT happened. I will not say what exactly it was, but just know that it was a major trauma and it was life altering. It's funny though, God used what man meant for harm and turned it into some good things. And for the rest of my life, as I remember what happened to me, I will always be able to see the hand of God at work in what was definitely a horrible time in my life. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty cool thing. Then came surgery, a cancer scare and another surgery to finish up the year. And those are just the things that happened to me. Of course, there were good things this year. Cinderella got engaged on her birthday. Husband moved into a job that he likes and is well suited for. A friend and I got to work the Deeper Still conference. Another friend bought her first home after living in an apartment for twenty something years. My niece got married. But I think all in all, I am glad to see 2007 go. Not that I have any assurances for 2008. No more so than the assurances that I had for this year. God's will is sovereign and He has a plan. Always. And I guess I can't wait to see what it is for this year.

I am finishing up the chapter on Serving God in Elizabeth George's "A Wife After God's Own Heart." I like to reread her books because I often need the reminder of how I need to treat my family and handle my life so that it is pleasing to God. One of the things that I love about Elizabeth's books is that she is very traditional in her way of thinking about a woman's role in life. She is very clear about God's priorities for marriage and for women in general. I know that some women wouldn't want to hear that they should put their husbands first (well actually, God first then husbands) in all that they do and plan for. I appreciate her view that my husband should be involved in all of my life, including whether or not to participate in church functions. The argument has been presented to me many times that if I'm working for God then how can it be wrong. I guess it can be wrong if I spend so much time wrapped up in whatever it is that I neglect my husband and my family. (And believe me, this has happened before.) Elizabeth makes the point that we are honoring God when we honor our husband's desires. And she makes the suggestion that if it really is something we want to do, that we pray that God change our husband's heart. I guess that makes it a win/win situation. Anyway, I highly recommend her books to any woman. I guess my favorite is "Beautiful in God's Eyes" but I have read and reread all she has written.

Oh my. I'd like to say that I have everything cleaned up. And actually, yesterday I was well on the way to neatness once again. However, today happened. And now my sink is full again. Of course, the fact that I have a house full of boys today may have contributed to the mess. (They did stop to shovel out The Boy's room earlier today and that is why my sink is full once again. Boys eat and drink a lot.) So I will be stepping away from here shortly to try and restore order before dh returns from work.

Did I mention that it has rained non-stop today and five doggies running in and out to use the "facilities" has taken it's toll on the kitchen floor? I do have some lovely samples of doggie footprints though.

I can hear the sounds of Forrest Gump coming from the living room. Cinderella and her beau are watching it. They have a list of movies to watch in their lifetime and for some reason this one is on it. I was never a big fan of Forrest. My favorite Tom Hanks movie would have to be Apollo 13 followed by Sleepless in Seattle. (Why would they have a list of movies to watch in their lifetime? Don't they have their entire life ahead of them? Maybe it's just a list of movies to watch over the school break.)

Well, I'm off to scrub up the kitchen!

I am wondering how long it will take before the house looks "normal" again. I still have Christmas dishes to finish scrubbing out. You know the ones. The huge awkward sized ones that don't fit in the dishwasher and don't really even fit in the sink. Those dishes. Plus there seems to be little piles of things stacked throughout the house. And the garbage can overfloweth. Oddly enough, the pantry seems to be somewhat bare as well. Which means grocery shopping is just around the corner. Laundry has been put off in favor of festivities however we did not attend said festivities naked, therefore, laundry piles have grown. And the ironing, oh, did I mention that I was ironing dh's dress shirt at 6 a.m. this morning because ironing was cancelled as well? So I am off to clear the dinner table (I did manage to put a clean tablecloth on it) and tackle the dishes before heading off to iron the rest of the dress shirts. Then I think I'll eat a cookie. Because we all know Christmas cookies don't count and diets don't start till after the new year. Right?

100 in 1001

I am thinking of trying this 100 in 1001 thing. The basic premise is that you think of 100 specific things or tasks that you would like to accomplish. They have to be very specific things. Then you pick a date to start and you have 1001 days to finish it. Which is over two years. So if you were to want to celebrate Easter with Aunt Marge or something but you didn't do it the first year, you have the second year to do it in unless Aunt Marge dies or something like that. So I will probably take a few days to come up with a list and then post it here. Then you go back and update it periodically so that the entire world can keep track of your progress. Assuming the entire world were to stop by your blog. I think theres some kind of counter thing you can add to the sidebar as well. Hopefully it will be something relatively simple to install so that I don't destroy the entire blogosphere as it currently exists. I also added part of my book list for 2008. I am sure that there are lots of other books that I will want to read as the year progresses.

I actually have started doing most of my posting on xanga but I think I am going to keep this blog for things that I can't figure out how to do there. Perhaps one day I will become totally proficient at this thing but I suspect by that time, some newfangled thing will have come along to replace this. Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Food poisoning vs. stomach virus

How can you tell the difference? The eternal optimist that lives inside me always hopes for food poisoning. After all, fp is not contagious unless everyone else has eaten the same thing. Which in our house is almost a statistical impossibility. So at least one of us should remain well. However, because I can't really tell the difference, I spend my time Lysoling and Cloroxing and sending people to the "other" bathroom because no one wants to take any chances. Unless of course, I am the afflicted one. Then it's pretty much take your chances. Because I am too sick to Clorox and Lysol. Anyway, it must have become apparent that we have been "visited" by something this weekend. The verdict is still out, but as always, I am leaning toward the ever popular food poisoning. (knock on wood, only one victim so far!)

It's nice to know I'm not crazy

Or at least very crazy. Finally, after all these years, a diagnosis. Of course, it took surgery to get here. But at least they can't keep saying, "I don't know what's wrong." And I now know it wasn't all in my head. But enough about my imaginary friends.

Thanksgiving. I love the holiday season. Or some parts of it anyway. Sometimes my job doesn't allow me to enjoy the season the way I should. But I am a nostalgic sort so I like the warm fuzzy feeling Christmas and Thanksgiving give me. Of course, in my head, everything is candle lit with soft lights and wonderful smells and its always evening and the weather is crisp outside with just a touch of snow. And it should always be that way. Curled up on the sofa with a good Christmas book, looking at the tree lights, (although I don't know how you can read in the glow of tree lights but this is my head, my fantasy).

Anyway, my mother in law is cooking lunch tomorrow and from past experiences, I know it will be fantastic. Then Josh is cooking for my parents. So it will be good stuff too. I will be sitting in my chair. Resting. Being good. Trying to get strong again. And so it goes. Happy Thanksgiving!

Working my way back to normal

Whatever normal is. And that's assuming I was normal to begin with. Anyway, tomorrow is a post-op follow up with lab work to see if I have regained any ground from the internal bleeding. I am sure that I have because I feel better than I did last week. Today had a slight set back but I think that comes from not knowing when to cry uncle. So here's hoping I have enough energy to be driven to the doctor's office. And here's to my first outdoor trip in a week and a half!

I'd rather had a Big Mac

But I didn't. Not that what I had was much healthier. A bagel with cream cheese. But still, it was no Big Mac. My only excuse was that it was too close too noon and there are so many crazy people in the drive thru at that time. And I hate to wait. So I drove home and ripped into the fresh bagel bag. Pretending that it was a Big Mac. And some salty fries.

My brain has been full of many things. Random things. Such as remembering how Jonathan didn't call Jessi by her name for the first four years of his life. She was "sister." Which was cute. Until he started school and no one knew who sister was. But it was still cute. Now I'm happy when they exchange a civil word or two between them. Oh, I guess it's not so bad at the moment. Something about one of them heading off for college seems to settle down their relationship. Maybe it's because Jessi realizes that there's a whole lot more to the world than just the walls of her home and school. And for Jonathan life is still pretty uncomplicated. Centering around friends, phones, computers, grades (not really, just wishful thinking from a mom) games, girls (did we say girls and uncomplicated in the same sentence?) and so forth. And somehow the thought isn't so random any more.

I've spent the day running errands (read that to mean getting my nails done...among other things). Of course, house errands tend to multiply when you're not watching them too. But we are counting down days til surgery so I think it's probably going to get a little bit hectic around here. I have a list a mile long. I wonder how much I will get done. Probably not much if I continue to sit here at the computer and cultivate mind wandering. Too bad. I should have had a Big Mac.

Waiting for the hot tub man

I hate to wait. Not as much as my dad but I suspect that as I get older, my ability or desire to wait will continue to decrease. Today is kind of a bonus day. I took it off because I am working Saturday and I decided that I deserved two days off in a row. I had no specific plans. Other than an afternoon doctors appointment and a trip to the salon for a pedicure. (that sounds so decadent so in the interest of truth and honesty, I must confess that I have never had a pedicure in my life and I have only gone to a salon/spa once. For my niece's wedding. Where I got my hair styled. In that nifty "doo" that is on my blog page. But I got a gift certificate for my birthday. About which I am very excited. The gift certificate, not the birthday. ) Anyway, back to reality. Today, the bonus day. It's a bonus because I am off tomorrow and I could do all the "mom/wife" things tomorrow and just goof off today. But no. I am waiting for the hot tub man. And he hasn't called or shown up. Yet. You have to understand that I don't really want or have to go anywhere (except to the aforementioned stuff this afternoon), it's just the thought of not being able to go anywhere if I wanted to. It's funny how our brains work. If I were working, I would be thinking to myself, "gee, I really wish I could stay home and do nothing. Maybe curl up in bed or something. Because the weather is gray and drizzling." Of course, I can't go back to bed any way because of the hot tub man. As a side note, do hot tub men work when it is all grey and drizzly outside? I always thought electricity and water didn't mix. While I have been waiting, I have cleaned the kitchen, living room and both kids rooms. And done laundry. And put extra quilts on the bed. So I continue to wait. And ponder. And wish that I could go somewhere. Oh well.

Hey, the hot tub man called. Life is looking up!

Dancing week 5

It seems so frivolous to have a blog entry based on dancing with the stars. Especially when there are other things I should be doing. But it's my blog and my brain (and those who know me would probably agree that my brain is more often than not filled with frivolous things) so I am going to write about it. I cannot believe how much I enjoy the show. I was a scoffer when it came out, secretly chuckling behind other dedicated viewer back at the ridiculousness of it all. Then, in the third season, I decided to partake and see what all the fuss is about. And there's no going back baby. Anyway, I am sure that everyone gasped when Marie dropped like a rock after her dance. Although it was obvious to me that she was clearly out of breath (the audible sounds of gasping should have clued everyone in) I have heard certain radio talk show hosts this morning imply that perhaps it was the result of drugs or caffeine. (I find some people to be stupid beyond words.) I felt bad that on top of the humiliation of passing out on live TV, her scores were perhaps the worst she had during the past five weeks. I still think it will probably come down to Sabrina, Helio and Mel (although last weeks bottom two scare did cause me to vote this week!) but I think Jane and Cameron gave a wonderful showing as well. Looking at Jane and watching her move makes me think that I could look that good at 56 but the way to that ability/body is probably not through whoppers and cheese fries. (curses to Halloween candy in little packages that trick you into thinking you aren't really eating that much!) So who will go home? Mark Cuban? Marie? Mel? Who knows? But I will dash home after closing the store to watch the last five minutes with baited breath. It's addicting.

Gotta love the beautiful sound of tornado sirens

I suppose the title says it all. We appear to be going to have an exciting weather evening here. Fortunately so far, everything seems to be "radar indicated" as opposed to actual events. However, the one note siren has been going off for over an hour now. And there's another storm behind it and another one behind that and another one...well, you get the picture.

I used to be disappointed when we would all get in the closet and then nothing would happen. (what kind of idiotic notion is that?) However, there was the one night when we barely made it to the closet only to hear a tornado pass overhead. At that moment, I promised myself and God that I would never be disappointed or irritated at the closet tornado ritual when it amounts to nothing. However, the closet is full tonight. (We don't usually get tornado warnings this late in the season) so I suppose we shall all head to the bathtub if there is an immediate threat.

The best of times, the worst of times

Was it really? Actually, I am on vacation. Not for very much longer. But still, it's a vacation day for me. This vacation week for me is always a "do nothing" week. However, I seem to fill it every year with little bitty, time consuming activities. Which is not a bad thing. I take this week because my birthday is this week. And I am not overly fond of birthdays. For many reasons. Sometimes, I don't like the fact that I am getting older. Especially when I consider getting older means no more babies, more sags, droops and wrinkles, and so forth. Sometimes, I don't like birthdays because I am an adopted child. It's funny that at 43 years old, it still bothers me that my birth mother doesn't choose to contact me. Not that she would know where I am, or even still be alive herself. Logic doesn't enter this picture anywhere. Not that I am discontent with the life that I have or love my parents any less. It's just that sometimes I still feel like a part of me is missing. But mainly I just want the opportunity to sulk over whichever 40 something birthday this happens to be. And I think looking forward to vacation covers up the dreading another year passing. Of course, another year means I am still alive, in reasonably good health, at this point having all (or most) my mental faculties...and a host of other things that I cannot recall at this moment. (probably a senior moment sneaking up!) But it has been a good week. I have enjoyed being home. Sometimes I think I could do this (staying home) full time. But I would probably eat bon bons all day and grow very big. Or bigger. So happy vacation and happy birthday to me!

There are certain advantages to working late occasionally. I don't think it would be something I would want to do full time. (although there certainly is a need for people who work late, otherwise, who would staff the drivethru when I need fast food in the midnight hour?) I like the thought of going back to bed for a little while after the rest of the house has gone to do whatever it is that they do...although I didn't nap today. I like choosing what to do with my time...although today I paid bills (ick), made a doctors appointment (bleck) and did laundry (when aren't we doing laundry) so maybe I don't get to choose how to use my time. I did have time to read my Bible this morning though and I read a chapter or two in a book I am working on and I certainly did get to spend more time on the computer with no one hanging over my shoulder asking me what I am doing. So see, there are advantages to working late sometimes. Of course, I will miss about half of the results show on Dancing with the Stars. I guess the only part you really need to see is the last five or ten minutes though. Or watch Jimmy Kimmel to see who went home. But for now, it's off to work we go. To change lives, spread the Word, make a difference....

Spirit week?

What is up with Spirit week? When I was in school (hundreds of years ago to be sure) spirit week was that same every year. We had black/orange day and formal day and three other days that escape my memory. Jonathan's school changes stuff every year. Which wouldn't be so bad except they seem to struggle with "themes." This year they had nerd day, stoplight day (where you dressed in certain colors to signify your relationship status) and gangster day. Well, they decided not to go with stoplight day. I suppose it's because it's a christian school and they prefer our kids not to date. Or something like that. Then they apparently ruled out gangster day because most kids haven't heard of gangsters, thinking that it was "gangsta" day instead. Although I do not particularly approve of the gangster lifestyle, it bothers me that sophmores have no idea about this part of our history. (weren't gangsters a big part of Chicago history in the twenties?) So now he is having pirate day (which necessitated purchasing a pirate hat) and crazy day...in which he should need no costume. I suggested favorite author day but that earned some strange looks and a comment from Josh suggesting famous classical composer day. But at least I would know they were learning something!

It's Saturday somewhere

Sometimes all days seem to run together. It has been a while since I worked on a Saturday though. There's something different about Saturday retail. I guess the type of people that come in to shop are different than the ones who shop with us during the week. In any case, the day went relatively smoothly after having a somewhat rocky start. Of course, I hid in the back and did receiving for most of the afternoon so I guess it's easy for me to assume that things went well. And I am sure that they did. The coolest thing about today (other than the skillet full of cornbread and pecan butter that I had for lunch) was the interesting concoction MJ made for the scientific experiment for kids day. I am still not sure what purpose it served, but I am now the proud owner of some cool (literally) blue jelly that oozes into interesting patterns. I have no idea what I am going to do with it once the novelty wears off....kind of like the amish bread starter I once owned. It was really great for the first forty loaves or so, but if you don't keep making bread, that little sucker molds. I wonder if this stuff molds?

We had an uneventful evening at home (so far) as well. We finally sat down and watched the Nativity Story after having the DVD for about two weeks. Some things we want to see right away and some things seem to take forever to get around to. I am really glad that I watched it though. I was kind of puzzled by the comic relief the three kings seemed to provide at times. Almost like Larry Moe and Curly snuck into the picture somewhere. As far as it goes though, I would recommend it for someone who is looking for a movie depicting the birth of Jesus. It was a nice little love story too. I found myself thinking about stuff like this was the biography of Mary and Joseph and I had to stop and think, "hey, this is a movie, the Bible doesn't talk about this..." I also found myself leaking a few tears, but that's pretty normal for me with anything remotely emotional. I cry at cotton commercials.

What happened?

Well, when I was thinking about what I was going to write this morning, the theme seemed to be something about where all time goes when no one is looking. However, I think the theme today should be, why is everyone mad at me? Although it's not entirely accurate to say everyone. And I am not really sure that it is me that they are angry with. I just happen to live here. To illustrate the oddity of the morning...here is what happened. We have pie in the house. Lemon pie. Lemon is not normally my favorite...or even something I like. Most of the time it is too sour or bitter. However, this lemon pie is just right (hooray for mamaw!). So I divided up the pie amongst the pie eating people last night, saving my piece for a later date. This morning, my wonderful delightful daughter who blesses my life in so many ways, gets up and wants to eat my pie. On the premise that I don't like lemon pie. Sadly for her (and me) I informed her that this lemon pie was like no other and that I would like to eat it. So....she got mad. At me. She muttered something about the fact that there is nothing to eat for breakfast (although there are eggs and sausage and biscuits and cereal and danish and granola bars and milk and peanut butter and so forth) and off she stomps. Being the gutton for punishment that I am, I decided to continue to have a conversation with her. I told her that I was going to the grocery this morning and asked her what she would like for me to purchase for her breakfast. Nothing. Actually, she said something....what she said was, "nothing." Apparently there is nothing in the world that appeals to her. In her defense, I admit that there are times when nothing appeals to me either. But a gal's gotta eat. Off she goes to school, still irritated with me because I have lemon pie. Not that she didn't have lemon pie. Just not this morning.

On to the next member of the irritation brigade. I showed my wonderful delightful handsome husband a recipe that I was considering fixing for dinner. (note the food theme here...) I wanted to make sure that it sounded good to him too. His response was lukewarm at best, saying he wasn't sure that it sounded good. So I said that I wouldn't fix it. He gets irritated and says, fix it if you want (I promise, I didn't use any dramatic inflections in my voice or anything.). Well, I don't want to fix something that he won't eat, especially if it will just be us dining in this evening. So he is unhappy with me for wanting to fix something that he doesn't want to eat and she is unhappy because I won't let her have what is mine. (I guess if I were a good mother I would sacrifice my pie on the altar of indulging my child...but I am sure that I can convince myself that this is for her own good.)

Fortunately for me, my youngest child seems to be in a happy mood. Of course, he has wrangled the promise of pizza out of me for lunch and he has a houseful of friends over to keep him company, playing mindless video games for the rest of the afternoon. Which is fine. So now, I am going to order pizza, then go try to get all the laundry done and maybe a little painting and cleaning a toilet or two. Time does fly!

blogging

I find it hard to believe that it has been almost a month since I started this thing. Which brings me to my first thought. Blogging when you have nothing to say. Although anyone who knows me knows well enough that there is always something running around in my head. Nothing profound though. I have often composed entire journal entries in my head and when I finally find myself with my journal, poof! My brain empties out. Or things just weren't that important. I am sure that several life changing profound statements have been permanently lost because I wasn't able to stop right that instant. Not that I think I am going to stop immediately and write here either. After all, check out my track record.

I guess the other thing that is really on my mind right now is Romania. I have a friend (yes, more than one actually...) Argh, here I am about to wander on about important thoughts and POW! something popped in the washer. Not being mechanical, I have no idea what might make a popping noise, but I have decided to hope for the best. It is not in my plans to purchase/repair a washer at the moment. Or any moment really. Anyway, back to Romania. And my friend. She is there currently, doing some things that I don't really understand, and the news that she sends back is heartbreaking. Children with no hope for a better life. Being sold or wandering the streets with no home, no food, no shoes. No future. And my heart breaks. Then, I was reading a journal by a mother whose daughter has multiple health issues (they are currently in the NICU again) and she and her husband realize that this gift from God will probably never grow up, never get married, have children, hold a job....and yet, in the midst of it all, they are still so grateful for the moments God has given them with her, even knowing that they will have to let her go eventually. And my heart breaks.

Maybe, sometimes when I have nothing to say, or can't say anything, it's because my heart breaks too much.

Deeper Still

I just finished a wonderful weekend at the Deeper Still event in Nashville. I have certainly been challenged to use all that I learned. I just hope I can remember it all! Even though we worked the event, we still had plenty of time to sit in on the teaching sessions. And boy can Priscilla, Beth and Kay teach! I had never heard Kay Arthur before but I was so overwhelmed by the things that she had to say. And I was definitely challenged to spend more time in the word. She had a great point that I seem to be able to make time to do the things that I want to do. And I do think it's time to refocus and prioritize things so that I can grow and be who God wants me to be. I enjoyed the whole thing so much that I am thinking about volunteering for the Atlanta event next June! Maybe I am crazy. Josh is thinking it over. (the volunteering part, not the crazy part. I didn't give him the option on the crazy part. I was afraid I knew what the answer would be!)